2016 so far!
2016 is one twelfth over, so in spite of speeding by, how’s it going so far?
Sorry to be depressing, but I feel so despondent. I’ve been resisting blogging because nobody wants to read a string of misery, but I felt I’d neglected the blog for long enough. I started the year feeling very down, had a brief upsurge midway through, but returned to form by the end of January. I can’t motivate myself or be bothered to do anything. In fact, I started writing this blog post to see if I could!
I had a couple of lovely conversations with writer friends last week, which briefly lifted my spirits, where we talked about how difficult it is to be self-motivating all the time. I’ve certainly had more than enough of that over the last couple of years, struggling to get The Broken Road finished, rewritten and then out into the world. But despite the relief when it was done, there’s a huge sense of loss once a novel is finished. Like any big thing you’ve worked towards for a long time, once it’s over, it leaves a massive emotional hole.
There seems to be a lot of sadness surrounding us as well. Famous people you’ve feel you’ve known forever dying, and painful losses and issues for friends and closer to home. That doesn’t even take into account the scariness of the world at the moment. And as for the weather … !
I’m going to stop before I depress everyone too much! But even writing this feels like an achievement, and I’m going to make myself do another hour of something constructive.
But I’m going to finish with the final paragraph from Unravelling. Sorry if you haven’t read it and you think you might, but I don’t think it will spoil it.
Vanessa turns her head, straining for the sound of the sea. You can’t hear it from the cottage even on the roughest of nights, but when she lies in bed under the eaves, she sometimes imagines its soft swish lulling her to sleep. Now the sound of the waves is a distant whisper as if the tide is a long, long way out. It feels as if it will never turn,will never again come crashing and roaring against the Cobb, spitting spray and foam over the surface of the wall. But even as she feels her heart being sucked away with the receding tide, she knows it will turn. It will come back.
Thank you, Unravelling!