I Hate Writing!
Don’t worry! You did read the title of the post properly, and no, I haven’t flipped or had a personality transplant. And, yes, I do remember last week on New Year’s Eve, I wrote that in 2014 I was going to write more. MORE. So, why, only a week later, am I saying, like a spoilt child forced to do something they don’t want to do, I hate writing? What’s gone wrong?
Perhaps I set myself up as a hostage to fortune with the bold statement in that previous post ‘There’s no reason why I can’t do 5000 words a week’. Because there is a reason, and perhaps if I knew what it was, I could fix it. It’s definitely not that I haven’t tried. On Thursday and Friday last week, and again yesterday and today, I’ve sat at the computer and tried to write. All over Christmas and New Year, I’d been gearing myself for the moment when the festive season would be over and I could start my next chapter. And I knew what I wanted to write. So, why, why, why, have I barely scaled 2000 words in four days? And every one of those words dragged from me, like a confession that will take me to the gallows.
I don’t know.
And that’s what’s painful.
I know the theories about overcoming what I refuse to dress up with a fancy name like writer’s block. I’ve spouted them often to students! But I don’t want to do morning pages; I don’t want to write endless character notes; I don’t want to go for long walks (well, I do but in addition to my writing not instead of). I want to get on with my novel.
Writing is difficult enough at the best of times, but when you put the time in and the words flow, the characters leap about, and the knots of the plot tighten, it all seems worthwhile. When you put the time in and nothing happens, it’s horrible.
The irony is I’ve got a small series planned for the next couple of months called ‘Why I Write’. I’ve asked six other writers if they will write a guest post for my blog on the subject, and I’ll be posting one a week between now and the end of February. I’m really excited about it and looking forward to what they each say. And I’m supposed to be kicking off the whole thing this Friday by writing the first ‘Why I Write’ post! It’s not going to look very good if I simply write I DON’T.